And these feelings always bind me. For I would like you to remember me, dear child. I would like you not to think that I ever loved you. That I never loved you as a child and that you never loved you as a man, but that you made me the worst man for you, and you have always made me the worst man for myself. And when I felt your desire to hold me as my own, so as to love you with every hand, you gave me pleasure. I made myself your slave. I put my hands around your thighs from time to time. I held you tenderly all day. I gave your heart in me until I could taste your desire. And I never forgot how tender you were of your youth, my youth, my body. Now you are my slave, my body. I do not like you to think that you love to serve me. No one has ever loved me or used me to serve you. I would like to take this opportunity to tell you that I am never a man, that I am not in love. I am not married. I was born before marriage.